What's Important?

     My family values work. Lots of hard work. The ability to put your mind to whatever is at hand, focus, and complete the job. This is a good thing, something which I take for granted, unfortunately. There is much to be said about hard work. Life is not about only doing the things you want. 

    But I wonder, what have we lost in valuing that principle? Too often I find myself impatient. I feel like, unless something was accomplished in a certain time frame, that slot of time was completely wasted. But was it really? What if we accomplish things in solitude or quiet that we would not have otherwise done had we been doing something else. What if, today, God had wanted you to put down your task list and listen to him? What if He had things to tell you in that time? You say, "Well, I can pray as I work." Sure, you can, I do all the time. 

   But let me ask you this: How honored do you feel when you walk into your friend's house, and he/she drops whatever she's doing to have a chat with you or make you some coffee? Or how do you feel when you go to an old friend for advice, but  they're too busy to really listen to your problem? You leave feeling confused and in want. 

   Do you think God ever feels that way? "My, that Danae, she loves me, but she does a poor job of showing it. She only wants to be with Me when she needs Me. Sometimes I wish she would know that I need her. I need to know that I am important to her, important enough to drop whatever she is doing to 'have coffee' with Me."

   Today I did that.  

   I realize that this is probably not the first time you have read a blog or article with this point. And you may be thinking that I am the type that just sits and meditates and drinks lattes and never does any "real" work. You may think that, but I hope God moves you to the place you need to be in your relationship.  

   Thank you to those of you who have "dropped" those things you were doing in order to listen to me. It meant the world to me.  ♥

God-given Refreshment

      Wow, it’s been a long time since I last blogged. I miss it. I have been at Hillcrest for ten months now. What have I learned? Lots. Lots and lots. As most of you know I started dating a wonderful man from South Carolina named Austin Mullet. :) I know, he’s a southerner, but give him a chance; he’s pretty incredible. :) My time here has been good, and I hope to return home mid-June.

      So what’s this blog post about? Well, I was having my devotions this morning. (Well, actually it was this afternoon. I’m going on night duty tonight so my days are mixed up.) Anyway, several weeks had passed since I had had my devotions. Yes, I said weeks. Why do I do this to myself? As usual, however, God was merciful and blessed me in the Scriptures He led me to read. The passage in my One Year Bible was quite timely. I am still in January, so my reading was in Genesis.  Rachel and Leah were having their squabbles and “baby wars.” Ridiculous, I thought to myself. First the reader thinks, “Poor Rachel, she was supposed to marry Jacob.” Then all of a sudden you have pity on Leah because Jacob loves her less than Rachel. God blesses Leah with sons, then Rachel, then Leah, and on it goes. When their sons were born, Rachel or Leah would say things like, “I know God gave me this baby because he heard my cry of distress.”

        I saw myself in this story. How many times am I “needy” for God? How many times do I pray selfish prayers, just asking God to get me through the day or through the current season? How many times could I have had peace if only I had asked God to be my stay? I run around in life searching for happiness, joy, and fulfillment in everything but God. As I read this passage, I thought to myself, “God, why did You still love them? Why did You still answer their prayers for children?” Then I realized that God does that for me all the time.  All the time. And I stand back, amazed, simply amazed, at a God who does not love us according to our actions. Why is that so hard for me to comprehend? I see now that I often think/worry that if I stray from God for too long he’ll eventually give up on me. But He does not.  Thank You Jesus He does not!

      So, wherever you are, child, do not be afraid of God. Do not be afraid that His love will run out. His love is limitless, and He is waiting on you.  Run to Him, with arms stretched out, and fall in love with the God Who made you.

Peace

She opens the door, 
Not all the way, no. Just a peek.
She knows what's inside is what she needs.
Inside is the joy she once claimed.
Peace. 
Ah, at one time she would have been bold enough
 To enter without a second thought.
But now? Shamed of what she'd become,
that's what she was. 
Relgion? Hard. Discipline? Harder. No,  make that 
Unattainable.
Deep inside, though, she craved.
Not chocolate, not attention, not even love.
She longed.
A small, gentle voice broke through her thoughts.
"Come, " the voice called.
 "Come." As if coming were as easy as walking.
The sweet voice calls,  
"Just take one step inside. Just one."
That voice, the light. Oh how she longs for freedom.
Fear. Anxiety. Shame. Distrust. Disbelief.
No. She won't. She longs to, but she will not.
Crushed, she sinks to the floorboards that glue her in despair.
Her tears fall unchecked;  she buries her head in her hands. 
"Why, Oh God, why can't I find freedom?" she cries. 
Attempting to wipe her face, she realizes the room is not dark;
She can see her hands. 
Could it be? No, surely not. Could she still be there?
She slowly lifts her head to see that soft-eyed angel. 
Her eyes, they beckon her to the light. "Come."
She rises, and with blind faith approaches the door.
"Take my hand, friend, and I will bring you to CHRIST."
The light-that light was a mere glint.
For as she entered the room,
She was met by an all-encompassing Glow.
Jesus. All she could see was Jesus. 
She started to speak a thousand times,
But was dumbfounded. 
How? Why? Every imaginable doubt was quieted.
Peace, be still.
Everything...was gone. Wiped away.
"Child, "He called, " child." 
She wept, and wept. And wept.
One word, one word, and He had said it all.

Running

My heart within me groaned,
An emptiness—no, a longing—for fulfillment burned in my soul.
I ran, my did I run,
To every place I knew that would bring me comfort.
And, for awhile, I felt in control.
Some time elapsed, and the busyness I’d surrounded myself with
Shook itself loose from my life.
All that remained was a lost little girl,
Shivering from the insecurity she still possessed. 
Why, dear God, do I run?
Why?
This little girl surely knows how to put on a mask for everyone else.
But You, Oh God, lovingly know me through and through.
You know my weaknesses, and You know my strengths;
You see me, all of me, and still embrace me with all Your heart.
I praise You, Lord! I give my life to You because You gave Your Son for me.
Oh let me always run to You God, to be held in Your warm embrace and never let go.

Living Life in a Stupor

     A stupor, that's what I have decided to call my attitude this morning, and yes, the past few weeks. I ask God over and over to fix my situations. “Take away this pain!” I beg of Him. It seems I cannot get past this wall, if you can call it a wall, in my prayer life. Somehow, I think that I will not truly be happy until He has granted my wishes. Whatever happened to “My thoughts are not your thoughts; your ways are not my ways”?  Discontentment settles in, lack of patience. Yeah, about that patience thing…never really been a strong point in my character. 

     While reading my Bible this morning, I kept searching for that moment. You know that moment too if you are a Bible-reading Christian. It is that moment in the morning when, after crying your eyes out the night before, you reach for your Bible, deciding that reading the Bible would still be the right thing to do.  As you begin reading a passage, all of a sudden you are overwhelmed, so overwhelmed, by the all-encompassing, never faltering, love of your God.  He speaks to you like you’ve never been spoken to before.  And in that moment you realize that God has always been there, even in your hopeless little situation.  For me, it was that oh-so-familiar verse that says something like “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.”  This has happened to me more than once, and God has spent far more time than I deserved reaching for me, calling my name and desperately wanting my attention. 

     Back to my quest for the “moment” experience, something to wake me up and end my stupor. The stupor that involves wallowing in depression and longing for new adventures across the seas or finding that one person who will be everything I have ever dreamed and more. (Okay, reality check, I know.) My devotional book speaks of Jesus calling us to pull away from our issues and FOCUS on God (Young, 48).  However, selfish will still wants those worries and questions to be answered. Like right now. Yet, after remembering God’s goodness in the way He reached out to me, I see the truth of this call. We have to, no, we need to, focus on God. 
       
 So, even if God is calling me to bigger and better things,  I know  that right now, I am RIGHT WHERE I BELONG. And realizing that, I find peace.


Sources: Jesus Calling by Sarah Young, 48-49.

Much-Needed Words

“For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith." This verse from Romans 12 really struck me this morning. Humility is not a common theme among popular Christian culture. The message today is that “God’s grace is always enough to cover your sins,” that “Jesus is always beside you,” “God does not judge you, He loves you.” For the most part, these ideas are founded in Biblical principles. The problem, however, is that we find ourselves with a very imbalanced view of God. We want the closeness and fellowship He offers, without the (more difficult) part of serving Him faithfully, doing the things we do not enjoy but He asks us to do. Not that our relationship with God is based on works, or that He is only close to us when we obey Him, He is always with us. But often our pride or sin puts a mask over God and we cannot seem to hear what He has to say. 

Reading further in Romans 12, I came across Scriptures that I had apparently forgotten… “Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor evil, cling to what is good. Be kindly affectioned to each other with brotherly love, in honor preferring one another…Giving to the needs of saints and being hospitable. Bless those who persecute you: bless, and curse not…Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits…If it be possible, as much as lies in you, live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12:9-18, paraphrased, highlights) So much simple wisdom and admonition is packed in these verses.  Even though I have known this passage for years, I seem shove them to the back of my mind, and write them off as mere ‘good ideals.’ But where have I gone wrong? The Bible could not say it any clearer! We are not nearly as high as we think we are! In the sight of God, we are nothing, a heap of misery. Or I should say, we are a heap of misery until He fills us up with His goodness.  

This is only one passage of Scripture admonishing us as believers. But I urge you, even as I urge myself, to search the Bible and find out just what God has been trying to tell you. He wants to speak to you, but look for Him in the right place, the not-so-comfortable place, and you will be blessed! 

Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.                  Jeremiah 29: 12,13

Hello world! Well, this is scary for me, but here goes nothing :) I thought tonight I'd share a few of the songs I have been working on the past few months. Someday I hope to record them with one of my close friends whose voice is, shall we say, a bit more pleasing to the ear than mine. God has gifted me with the ability to write what I'm feeling, and my prayer is that these songs will be able to reach the depths of your heart and draw you closer to God. Hope every one's night is beautiful!