How in the World...?

        I never thought it would be this hard. Having a baby. One of my friends accurately described my feelings the other day. She said, “You think you’ll be able to do everything you did before, plus have a baby.”

Deep down I knew, back when I was pregnant, that it would not be possible. As I went about my daily duties, and helped Seth with chores occasionally, I would think, “Boy, I can barely keep up now; how in the world will I be able to have my workload and a baby?” Or, “If I could just get ‘ahead,’ I would be free to handle anything when the baby came. Sounds like a bad case of nesting now that I look back.

      One of the things I decided to do before I had my baby and became a mom was to paint our sunroom and use it as a sewing room, and, most importantly, a place to journal, blog, and have my devotions. I painted the ceiling yellow, and the walls a light grey. I had had a room like that back home that I had painted kelly green, my favorite color, and I used it for the same purposes, along with my piano playing. Years ago I read in a devotional book, (or maybe a wise lady told me) to have a “spot” where you always have your devotions. A special place. The same place. This room would serve that purpose. I planned to start blogging weekly before I even had Mia, in order to RETAIN some small part of my individuality. I suppose it’s the same reason Seth yearns to go hunting and fishing, but more on that later.

       Well, obviously I didn’t start blogging then. Which leads me to the main point of this post. How do moms find TIME to think? To pray? To really search God and the Scriptures? To really meditate on the meaning and purpose of life? These past couple weeks, I’ve been thinking to myself that I’ve got some great material to work with. That sounds incredibly crass, because as you all know I’ve also had to said goodbye to my Dad recently. But that’s what I mean. I tried to explain it in a testimony/prayer request at church...I asked them to give me grace as I grieve my dad’s passing—to not be offended if I don’t seem to be grieving at all, because A)I never have TIME to really process everything I am feeling, and B) If I do start to think about all the loss I feel with him gone, I get so down that I am in no shape to feed or take care of my baby. C) For me to really process something, I have to do exactly this: Sit down and write it all out, which I never have time to do.

      

      Therefore , I do not think anything outside of laundry, dishes, food, diapers and nursing. It’s a really inspiring life. I know what you’re thinking, that I need to be grateful for my (usually) happy, healthy baby, and I am. But honestly, the times that I could really feel that way are the times when I am NOT with her. When she’s sleeping peacefully and my house is cleaned, laundry folded, flowers watered, supper cooking and I’m sitting in my yellow room on my perfect yellow chair drinking coffee. Well, at least I think it will be yellow. I’m not sitting there now, in case you were wondering. The clock says 11:53 pm, and this is being “typed”’on my iPhone until I fall asleep or Mia wakes up to eat.

     

      Speaking of sleep, that’s what I am about to do. Usually I write about some newfound Spiritual idea, but tonight, just the opposite is true. I have no answer to my problem. Love you all, goodnight!

Mary and Martha

      It's interesting, and humbling. That is, learning from a book you're teaching to twelve year-olds, a book you read yourself when you were that age. 

      The book is called A Young Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George. An excellent read, really. However, I don't think I had ever fully grasped the teaching of the story of Mary and Martha depicted in the first chapter. I have always considered myself more of a "Mary" than a "Martha." Yesterday, however,  I realized how much I have changed over the years.

       In January I married an awesome guy named Seth Peachey, and we have had so much fun doing life together. But, as most young brides know, it takes a lot to start a new household--money, time, organization, cleaning. Then, on top of that, a wife has many new responsibilities that come along with the job and can be overwhelming at times. Yesterday was such a day for me. 

        I was in charge of teaching my pre-teen girls class at our Boys and Girls Club, and I always seem to struggle to get as much preparation in as is needed for a relaxed class time. Recently, though, by observing a senior teacher's calm and collected composure as she taught, I felt motivated to be as prepared as she when it was my turn. I wanted these girls to really perceive  what I was going to teach. So I planned ahead, ordered books, and bought some craft supplies. 

      Wednesday morning came, and with it a sink full of dishes, laundry baskets stacked high waiting to be folded, shopping bags also piled in the laundry room also waiting to be put away, important errands to run, and the desire to have a good lesson prepared by that night. How was I to accomplish it all?If you know me at all, I may appear to be a disorganized, "fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants" type of person, but in my house, I really dislike mess and clutter. Just ask Seth.  So what should I do, prepare for my lesson or clean up the mess? 

       Against my better instincts, I began working on my lesson. Time came to go to the license branch and run my errands. Let's just say that it does not take 45 minutes to get to the Plymouth BMV from my house, and neither do they let you change your name when you forget the papers you were supposed to bring. I drove home, discouraged, and shed a few tears of frustration.
       When things like this happen, I normally go through my mental to-do list and bemoan how few of those got accomplished and how much time was wasted. Once I had dried my tears though, I realized that I didn't feel all that regret. I had prioritized the important, eternal to-do lists that day. I could go to Boys and Girls Club that night and truly feel accomplished. I could teach them about Mary and Martha because I had truly learned Mary's secret: prioritizing Jesus! 

       Elizabeth George points out the fact that Mary did have things to do. She wanted to prepare for her guests just as much as Martha did. But the second JESUS walked in the door, she put down the plate she was drying, and sat at His feet. Being with her Guest was more important to her than preparing for Him. 

       So, how am I going to apply this every day? Well, it's not going to be easy, I am sure of that. But I am going to stop "grading" myself and my ability to complete or not complete my task lists from day to day. And I hope that you can experience that peace of mind as well. Let's make kingdom work--people, prayer, studying,and most of all Jesus--our highest priority today and every day for the rest of our lives. 

Source:

A Young Woman After God's Own Heart- Elizabeth George

What's Important?

     My family values work. Lots of hard work. The ability to put your mind to whatever is at hand, focus, and complete the job. This is a good thing, something which I take for granted, unfortunately. There is much to be said about hard work. Life is not about only doing the things you want. 

    But I wonder, what have we lost in valuing that principle? Too often I find myself impatient. I feel like, unless something was accomplished in a certain time frame, that slot of time was completely wasted. But was it really? What if we accomplish things in solitude or quiet that we would not have otherwise done had we been doing something else. What if, today, God had wanted you to put down your task list and listen to him? What if He had things to tell you in that time? You say, "Well, I can pray as I work." Sure, you can, I do all the time. 

   But let me ask you this: How honored do you feel when you walk into your friend's house, and he/she drops whatever she's doing to have a chat with you or make you some coffee? Or how do you feel when you go to an old friend for advice, but  they're too busy to really listen to your problem? You leave feeling confused and in want. 

   Do you think God ever feels that way? "My, that Danae, she loves me, but she does a poor job of showing it. She only wants to be with Me when she needs Me. Sometimes I wish she would know that I need her. I need to know that I am important to her, important enough to drop whatever she is doing to 'have coffee' with Me."

   Today I did that.  

   I realize that this is probably not the first time you have read a blog or article with this point. And you may be thinking that I am the type that just sits and meditates and drinks lattes and never does any "real" work. You may think that, but I hope God moves you to the place you need to be in your relationship.  

   Thank you to those of you who have "dropped" those things you were doing in order to listen to me. It meant the world to me.  ♥

"Take time to be holy. The world rushes on."

    This could be the theme of my morning on this blustery cold day. I woke up, my mind dreading the things I had planned to do today. If only I could ignore them, and they would just magically get done. But alas, I peeled myself out of bed and, with some hesitation, put on my running clothes in order to fulfill a promise I'd made to a friend.

       As my heart raced, so did my mind, like it always does when I'm doing something "mindless." Last night I tuned into a sermon on the radio. The pastor was preaching on Hebrews. He condemned the idea that we somehow fall out of God's grace every time we sin. He  declared that we as Christians tend to mix the Old Testament law with the New Testament law.  Now, I do understand that we don't earn our salvation, but I had never heard the other side of the spectrum. That, in the same way our good works do not buy our salvation, neither do sins nullify our salvation. I was skeptical of this teaching, but I kept listening. Surely I couldn't just do whatever I wanted and God would just keep on forgiving me, He continued to say. "Now, you'll hear preachers telling you, 'You have to do this, this, and this [in order to be a Christian].'"
 
       I must confess I often feel I just do not measure up when I finish hearing a sermon. I leave determined to make a change in my life, and by the time Monday rolls around I have given up. Maybe I am just not disciplined enough. Why do we feel like we have to keep on being "reborn?" Was I not a Christian before this sermon came across the mic?

       I finally connected the dots when the radio pastor said that if we do do all the things we are "supposed to," and we get to the end of our lives, will we say to God, "Here I am, I've done all that you asked of me. Now can I please get past You into the doorway of Heaven?" How terrible, Not only are we completely indifferent to the fact that He gave His Son to live on earth for thirty-three years and also suffer excruciating pain and sorrow, we also think we are somewhat entitled to Heaven. To our shame!

      So now I see what this pastor was trying to say. God views us as covered. Covered by the blood of Jesus. That is what is beautiful to Him. He does not want our achievements and our little acts of goodness. He spits on them. He is Good, so why do we think He needs more of that.  What He truly wants is surrender. surrender of all the things we are doing, good, and bad, and in place of those a heart that is turned over to Him, and He tells us, " Thank you, child, for this heart of yours, I will now, with My great hand,  make it into a heart of gold. You're welcome."

     Do not read this post and go on about your day as planned. Stop, stop for an hour, and stop simply doing. You already have His approval, there's no need to earn it.

  "For by grace are ye saved through faith: and that not of  yourselves, it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast." Eph 2:9

God-given Refreshment

      Wow, it’s been a long time since I last blogged. I miss it. I have been at Hillcrest for ten months now. What have I learned? Lots. Lots and lots. As most of you know I started dating a wonderful man from South Carolina named Austin Mullet. :) I know, he’s a southerner, but give him a chance; he’s pretty incredible. :) My time here has been good, and I hope to return home mid-June.

      So what’s this blog post about? Well, I was having my devotions this morning. (Well, actually it was this afternoon. I’m going on night duty tonight so my days are mixed up.) Anyway, several weeks had passed since I had had my devotions. Yes, I said weeks. Why do I do this to myself? As usual, however, God was merciful and blessed me in the Scriptures He led me to read. The passage in my One Year Bible was quite timely. I am still in January, so my reading was in Genesis.  Rachel and Leah were having their squabbles and “baby wars.” Ridiculous, I thought to myself. First the reader thinks, “Poor Rachel, she was supposed to marry Jacob.” Then all of a sudden you have pity on Leah because Jacob loves her less than Rachel. God blesses Leah with sons, then Rachel, then Leah, and on it goes. When their sons were born, Rachel or Leah would say things like, “I know God gave me this baby because he heard my cry of distress.”

        I saw myself in this story. How many times am I “needy” for God? How many times do I pray selfish prayers, just asking God to get me through the day or through the current season? How many times could I have had peace if only I had asked God to be my stay? I run around in life searching for happiness, joy, and fulfillment in everything but God. As I read this passage, I thought to myself, “God, why did You still love them? Why did You still answer their prayers for children?” Then I realized that God does that for me all the time.  All the time. And I stand back, amazed, simply amazed, at a God who does not love us according to our actions. Why is that so hard for me to comprehend? I see now that I often think/worry that if I stray from God for too long he’ll eventually give up on me. But He does not.  Thank You Jesus He does not!

      So, wherever you are, child, do not be afraid of God. Do not be afraid that His love will run out. His love is limitless, and He is waiting on you.  Run to Him, with arms stretched out, and fall in love with the God Who made you.

An Evening with God

Allow me to take you to a place...
Have I been there? Oh yes. Did I take pictures? Of course. So why don't I simply show them to you? Ah, you see, I could. Maybe you 'd nod and agree that it is  a wonderful place. But, since I love you and wish to truly share this place with you, I'm taking you with me.
                                                                           
                                                                           ........

        Drive your car awhile. Sure, it's dark, rainy, and what some people would deem a good night to stay in. But you're anxious to get away. Keep driving, you'll get there! One highway sign. Is this the town? No. Sigh, Keep driving, you'll get there! Another sign. "Hollister: 10 miles." Almost there. At last you turn off the highway, and begin making your way to the historic district of town. 

There it is--the cafe everyone has told you of! Sure this place can't be everything they've told you it was. But you step out of the car. The first thing you notice is light. Not a bright street light, but a warm glow, and it's coming from inside the cafe. Laughter, gleeful, relaxed laughter. It creates an ambiance that simply becomes a part of your experience. Walking up the old steps, you open the antique door, no knob, just an old handle...Inside, you're surprised to find the place small. Not stuffy, not Victorian, but small. This kind of small makes you just want to fold your arms tightly and drink in the place. Everything is rustic, one wall is lined with fine wine; a low doorway leads to a second room with three people chatting, and the other end, a high counter. The man on the stool quickly arises to take his place behind the register. You smile, walk up to the counter, and confidently order the latte that is you. Now, I said 'confidently.' I don't mean that you are bashful or unaccustomed to ordering an espresso. I mean confident, because for once you are confident  that the barista smiling at you behind the counter knows exactly  how to make your drink. No hesitations, no worries of being offensive or "snobby," You order it, and happily stuff his tip jar for a job you know will be well done. While your drink is in the making, you wonder around aimlessly, taking in the place. The people are different, yes, and perhaps not the most comfortable crowd you've ever been in. But isn't it refreshingly original? No soccer moms, no kids screaming, no teenage girls who want their "expresso drinks from Starbucks," no businessman sucking up the free Wi-Fi.  You hear a a few thumps behind the counter.  Ah, how forgetful! This barista really is  making you an authentic latte. A smile lights up your face that goes all the way to your insides! He's almost finished, just a few more adjustments, then he smiles and hands you the latte you've dreamed of for ages. Take a sip. Mmmm...the espresso, that strong-almost bitter- taste of espresso. Oh how lazy your taste buds have been!
Now that you have your drink in hand, it's time to do more exploring. Take one last look at the creativity around you, and step out into the night. The tables on the porch still host the friendly laughter and light conversation. But look a little farther, past the porch. Lights, little yellow lights. What could be back there? Making your way off the porch to the other side of the shop, you see not just a few lights, but long, graceful strips of lights contrasting the dark of the night. What is this place? As you walk up the steps leading to the lights, you are surrounded by beauty. Wildflowers grow in random places out of the cracked stone floor. Metal tables are sprinkled about the place.  More gentle laughter. The light strings atop this...courtyard, yes, it must be a courtyard, they are perfect. You feel covered, but not stifled. The night sky is brilliant with God's own magnificent stars adding to the experience. You take a seat in the corner. Sure, the rain has dampened it a bit, but what does that matter? Take in a deep breath, and enjoy this place. Once again you notice the flowers around you. Looking more closely however, you realize these grow wild. No one tends to them. The wild green bunches add to the mystery of the courtyard, and you feel a part of it. "Wow," you think, "Can this place really be?" Drink in every bit of it, my friend, ever bit! Surrounded by all of this lovely, your heart is reminded of  God.  "Oh, dear God, why have you made this place for me? Everything is just so wonderful, and it floods my heart with joy!"

                                                                        ........
         
         So, do you feel like you were there? :) I most certainly hope so, my friend! And I pray that as God takes you to places like these, that He moves you.  Not in a forceful way, but in the way that a lover romances his beloved. 

Psalm 139:6

O Lord, You have searched me and known me.

You understand my thought afar off,

And are acquainted with all my ways.

But behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.

And laid Your hand upon me.

It is high, I cannot attain it.

Walk with God, my friend, walk with God!

Peace

She opens the door, 
Not all the way, no. Just a peek.
She knows what's inside is what she needs.
Inside is the joy she once claimed.
Peace. 
Ah, at one time she would have been bold enough
 To enter without a second thought.
But now? Shamed of what she'd become,
that's what she was. 
Relgion? Hard. Discipline? Harder. No,  make that 
Unattainable.
Deep inside, though, she craved.
Not chocolate, not attention, not even love.
She longed.
A small, gentle voice broke through her thoughts.
"Come, " the voice called.
 "Come." As if coming were as easy as walking.
The sweet voice calls,  
"Just take one step inside. Just one."
That voice, the light. Oh how she longs for freedom.
Fear. Anxiety. Shame. Distrust. Disbelief.
No. She won't. She longs to, but she will not.
Crushed, she sinks to the floorboards that glue her in despair.
Her tears fall unchecked;  she buries her head in her hands. 
"Why, Oh God, why can't I find freedom?" she cries. 
Attempting to wipe her face, she realizes the room is not dark;
She can see her hands. 
Could it be? No, surely not. Could she still be there?
She slowly lifts her head to see that soft-eyed angel. 
Her eyes, they beckon her to the light. "Come."
She rises, and with blind faith approaches the door.
"Take my hand, friend, and I will bring you to CHRIST."
The light-that light was a mere glint.
For as she entered the room,
She was met by an all-encompassing Glow.
Jesus. All she could see was Jesus. 
She started to speak a thousand times,
But was dumbfounded. 
How? Why? Every imaginable doubt was quieted.
Peace, be still.
Everything...was gone. Wiped away.
"Child, "He called, " child." 
She wept, and wept. And wept.
One word, one word, and He had said it all.